I Have Returned…Wearing A Suit and Tie!!

It’s been a while…hasn’t it?
I think I have probably missed you more than you have missed me.
It’s ok. I understand. My blog is easily forgettable. In the blogsphere, there are hundreds of thousands of us writing feverishly each and every day in order to find an audience. I am but a pimple on the ass of all bloggers worldwide.
So, the biggest reason I have been absent from writing is because I started a new job. It began back in late April and has involved considerable training sessions and periods of time away from home (the longest being two weeks).
I work for a publicly traded, big-ass company now. This is completely new territory for me. I am the guy who worked for small companies – boutique-sized firms…even working for myself way back when.
I am not used to this shit. I am not used to shaving every day and wearing a suit and tie. I am a “schvitzer” and summer is here!!
The biggest change I had to deal with I experienced at the beginning of this new journey. My routine completely changed. No more morning spinning class after getting the kids off to school. Now, I am out the door before they leave and am usually the last one to get home at the end of the day.
Meal planning with my wife is a bigger discussion these days because much of the prep work is done on the weekend and we have placed faith in our children to do some of the grunt work before we get home – including setting the table, boiling water…turning on the oven – stuff they weren’t used to doing (I know, I know…they are lazy and should be stepping up more – agreed).
Work is interesting. Working for a big company is even more interesting. Having to complete onerous expense reports is nuts…having to get my blood and urine taken for benefits coverage is a pain in the ass…but worth the hassle because of the payback. Learning all the internal protocols has been a struggle and trying to figure out the sheer stupidity of some of the things the company does – I just don’t get. They spend money hand-over-fist on silly things. I say…pay me more money instead.
I am getting into my groove concerning my new job. I am learning the vocabulary of the business, the cast of characters in our company and who our competitors are – all the usual stuff. The instructors who led the training in Washington said that learning all of this stuff is like trying to drink from a fire hose. I could not agree more!
I continue to be scared shitless. Can I do this? Can I learn something new and succeed? Can I learn to play the game of corporate politics? Can I learn to get along with my immediate colleagues? Can I schmooze my boss?
Can I deal with working for a big American company with their American ways of doing business and the notion that every action I take is constantly being scrutinized and watched by the powers that be?
If you asked me this question about 2 months ago, I would have said…I don’t think so. Now…I am getting used to it.
“Just put your head down and do your job”, is what I keep telling myself. “Yes, of course you can do this. It isn’t rocket science”, I remind myself.
My wife, my biggest fan and supporter constantly nurtures me and reminds me about my capabilities and that I can do anything I want.
Moving into a new work space can make you feel really small and child-like. All of those doubts and worries that swirled around in my head when I was little, came right back up to the surface.
The difference is, I am 48. I am more mellow now then when I was 26 and have improved my social skills…not taking everything so seriously. For those people that I come across (especially in my company) whose assholes are puckered up tighter than a drum…I say, “laugh and chill out”. In the grander scheme of things, all of this nonsense is just that….nonsense.
I am trying to have fun and I promise to the three people who read my blog that I will do my darndest to get back on the horse again and pick up blogging.
I really didn’t realize how much I missed it until just now.
750 words just came right out of me…how easy was that?

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About theenlightenedmale

Stephen Gosewich is an aspiring enlightened male. He spends his days during the week as a guy working in real estate. At all other times, he just enjoys hanging out with his wonder best friend and wife and their two very active and inspiring daughters. Steve has supplied blogs to The Good Men Project, Village Living Magazine (print/online) and has been the "Daddy Blogger" at pinkandbluebaby.com. He lives in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
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