Male and Female Friendships Are Different

I know, I know…”Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus”…whatever the hell that means.

Ignoring the “body parts” thing, I know that there are a million other different ways that men and women are different.

Duh!!

I have said it before and I will say it again, I really do feel that if women were in more positions of power/authority (politically or otherwise) we would be living in a more peaceful, safe, harmonious, loving and empathic world.

This is how women are built…and I love the way they are built! (rimshot, please!)

What I also find absolutely fascinating is the kinds of friendships women have with each other versus men.

I only have to look as far as my own friendships with men and my wife’s friendships with women to observe these differences.

They are polar opposite but truly reflect how different the sexes are in this particular area.

When my wife goes out for dinner with a friend, she can be gone for several hours (3-4, if not longer). It always amazes me when she comes home and tells me that she went out for dinner with her friend and this is where she spent all her time, that she and her friend were able to talk for as long as they did without that time been taken up by seeing a movie or doing something not involving any kind of talk..unless she is not telling me everything about where she went (which I highly doubt).

Women can sit across from one another and engage in conversations lasting for hours. While I have never eavesdropped on one of her conversations, I can pretty much guarantee that nothing is discussed about business (other than how each other’s jobs are going and all the silly bullshit that often takes place in the workplace environment), sports, politics, money (other than sharing war-stories about financial struggles) or religion.

Yes, I am generalizing but I have a sneaky suspicion that I might be right.

Often times, talk will consist of family, relationships, children, pop culture, wellness, health, fashion, books, food, the arts.

By no means, let it be said, that I think light of this or think how silly these kinds of subject matters are.

Quite the opposite.

In actual fact, I would love to get in on this kind of conversation myself.

I hate talking about business…I am totally not into sports (hate golf!!), don’t know a ton about politics…other than my own perspective on the greater issues and I don’t play cards and am not that heavy into cars or “toys”.

However, I could spend hours talking about my children, the dynamics of my family, struggles around family finances and of course food.

While I am not a big reader and know only a little bit about fashion, I really do feel like I would be more comfortable chatting it up with a bunch of women then fuddy-duddy men.

There, I said it…men can often be fuddy-duddy…translated…boring!!

Now, maybe I am completely off the mark. However, I don’t personify the stereotypical male (as you can plainly see).

I don’t play poker with the boys or share my thoughts and perspective on an attractive looking woman when she walks past me and the guy that I might be hanging with. No, I don’t say, “look at the ass on her!” If anyone is an ass, it’s a guy who says that out loud to his buddy.

However, I am not gay either (not that there is anything wrong with that).

I remember a few years ago, I attended a meditation workshop, albeit reluctantly. My spiritual hypnotherapist at the time, was conducting a workshop and thought it would be great for me to be there. However, she needed to run the idea of me attending past the other attendees in the workshop, who were all female. She got their agreement and I nervously began attending the sessions.

Yes, I will admit, it was a bit weird being the only guy there. But this wasn’t/isn’t the only time where I have been in the minority. Practicing yoga and taking spinning classes often leaves me as the only person with chest hair in the class. Funnily enough, I just recently took a spinning class where I was the only guy and the instructor finished the class by saying. “nice job, ladies!”. She later came over to me and apologized for not acknowledging me. I told her I was used to it.

Being in these kinds of situations where I am the only male amongst a group of women has provided me with insight and perspective and I think makes me a better man, better father and better husband. I think it also makes me a better friend as well. I listen to their conversations, however informal they might be and hear what they have to say and what is of interest or relevance to them.

Being macho and uber-male when you are young is a guy’s feeble attempt at getting a woman to notice him. While it might be true that some girls might be attracted to the stereotypical male, I think that in the long run, women are looking for men who have many beliefs and qualities that are similar to them.

Not to say that women want men to be completely like them, but I do think that women who are in relationships (whatever kind) with men, want them committed, dedicated and with their hearts and emotions open.

I love being the kind of man that I am and wish their were more like-minded men out there.

Are there?

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About theenlightenedmale

Stephen Gosewich is an aspiring enlightened male. He spends his days during the week as a guy working in real estate. At all other times, he just enjoys hanging out with his wonder best friend and wife and their two very active and inspiring daughters. Steve has supplied blogs to The Good Men Project, Village Living Magazine (print/online) and has been the "Daddy Blogger" at pinkandbluebaby.com. He lives in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
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