Not that I have any intention of “croaking” anytime soon but I must admit that I have been thinking more and more recently about mortality.
I have been thinking about what my life will be like in 10 years, 20 years, 30 years…maybe even 40 years? Who knows if I will get that far, who will be around me and what quality of life I will have.
Is it morbid to think this way? For some, yes. But, I don’t think so….I think everyone starts thinking about this kinda stuff at some point in their lives.
As an aspiring “Enlightened Male” (just celebrated my first anniversary of this blog!), it’s actually sorta cool that I am thinking this way. Maybe it means that I am becoming a deeper thinker and a more spiritual individual.
By and large, I am a very positive and upbeat person. I have always been a “glass is half full” kind of guy. Despite the current stresses I am facing, I wake up each day, with a bright and relatively sunny disposition. I know where my 10 year old daughter gets it from!
But, as I just finished celebrating my 46th birthday (it was a National Holiday!), these new thoughts are creeping into my world of thinking. I don’t obsess or dwell on them too often. But now that I can admit that there are probably fewer good years in front of me then there are behind me, I am starting to feel an urgency to my life; an urgency that I haven’t felt before.
So when did they thoughts start entering my mind? Was it when my kids were born? Was it when I turned 40? Is it a result of my yoga practice and meditation? Was it when I began to hear stories of people my age..people that I knew somehow that were being diagnosed with illnesses such as cancer or worse yet, dying at a much too early age? Was it when I began to hear of friends divorcing. Was it a single event or was it just a series of events?
I really don’t know.
I also seem to be pulled towards learning about interesting public figures and their own interest with mortality. Recently we all experienced the loss of Steve Jobs. Seeing all the interviews and speeches he gave during his life, it seemed that he was almost obsessed with his own mortality. He used his days efficiently, cramming in only the vital and useful bits into each day instead of wasting his time with silly stuff.
George Harrison, the late great Beatle and spiritualist…spent many of his days after the Beatles broke up, meditating and focusing his energy on preparing himself to leave his body. He was truly an enlightened individual and according to his wife, when he finally did pass away, he “lit up the room”.
Learning more about these people (and others) just reminds me of the fact that I too, will someday leave my body and this life. This knowledge and realization just reinforces the importance of living each day completely. It reminds me of the importance of relationships and not “things”. By immersing myself in relationships, I am not only enriching my own life but the lives of others who will benefit from the relationship once I am gone.
Its amazing how self-important everyone feels. So many of us are caught up in our own egos (especially in the workplace). Many feel superior, in some way, maybe because they have amassed more wealth or hold positions of power that make them feel mightier than they actually are. I used to be intimidated by these people. I am not anymore. The main reason for my fundamental shift in my thinking is because they and I have one major thing in common; both of us will die. They can’t escape it, spend their fortunes to pay someone off so they can avoid it or amass all the power in the world to fight it off. Death will get them too.
Its a pretty powerful piece of information to have because it reminds me that mortality is the greatest common denominator in existence. Death seeks each of us out…some sooner than later.
The best part is…death doesn’t really care how big a house you have, if you have a late model Toyota or a $150,000 Bentley or if you are a corporate titan or a garbage collector.
We are even-Stephen.
So, don’t be depressed by this blog. Mom, Dad…I am talking to you. I am ok…(they read these blogs as well and sometimes worry that I am ok).
For me, this posting is an alarm clock going off…reminding me to live my life as fully and completely as I possibly can and to appreciate each and everything that is in it and quit with the nonsense about bitching about what I don’t have. I have absolutely everything I need. Who could ask for anything more?