Race Cars and Drum Kits!

When I was 9 years old, I remember thinking that all I wanted to be when I grew up was a race car driver. I was obsessed with anything to do with cars. I remember going to the car show each and every year and making it my mission to sit inside every single car on display and to walk out of the convention centre with every brochure and every freebie that had to do with cars. I would then go home, empty the bags of swag, leaf through the pamphlets and imagine me sitting behind the wheel of a high performance Corvette (my favorite car at the time), driving around the oval, entering into the apex of the turn at just the right speed and angle so I could take the checkered flag and win the race!

When I was in my early teens, my interests changed and became more artistic and creative. I used to sit at the desk in my bedroom and while pretending to study for exams or doing my homework, I would draw pictures of rock concert stages. I used to draw pictures of elaborate drum kits, PA systems, lighting rigs, guitar and bass amplifiers. I even used to listen to music through my headphones and imagine the band performing live while I was working the lighting control board or mixing sound board. I imagined touring the world with the band and me dreaming up these elaborate light shows, designed with washes of beautiful colors choreographed to the awesome music and complete with dry ice and pyrotechnics to make the band’s concert look magical and spectacular!

Somewhere along the road to age 46, I lost my interest in wanting to be a race car driver and I stopped drawing pictures of rock concert stages and thoughts of me touring the world as a technician for a rock and roll show. My two passions disappeared. The problem is, they were never replaced.

Sure, I am passionate and head-over-heels in love with my children and my amazing wife of 20 years but professionally, I never got my mojo back.

I will let you in on a little secret…while I have grown up in age, I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Whenever I am asked the question, “if you could do or be anything, what would be your dream job?”…I don’t have an answer.

I sometimes think that there is something wrong with me. I see many people out in the world with these really cool jobs and think to myself, “how did that person land such a really cool gig?” Or, I will see people interviewed who are successful in their careers and when they are asked why they thought they were successful in their vocation they reply, “its because I found my passion”.

How did they find it? How did they know where to look? Were they actively seeking it out or did they just stumble across it?

Did they have an epiphany? Was there any kind of “a-ha!” moment?

More importantly, why don’t I know what my dream job is? How can I find my passion?

I’m a bit jealous of these people…not because of their success but because they found something they are passionate about. Silly, isn’t it?

I have been told by many highly educated and trustworthy people I know that I shouldn’t worry – that it’s not too late to find my passion and that I shouldn’t look too hard for it because it will reveal itself – sooner or later.

I should, however, be mindful of the little clues and hints of what my passion is because these little pieces of information will come in a subtle way and its my responsibility to be aware of them and to put them all together…just like a jigsaw puzzle.

OK…I am fine with this.

But I can’t stop thinking, “why not me”?

Why not me?

I have learned that we are all entitled to have everything we want and that the Universe has more than enough to offer each and everyone of us. There is an infinite supply of possibility and abundance out there – lots to go around.

The belief that I can have anything and everything I want is what continues to motivate me but also continues to remind me to just be patient.

All good things come to those who wait…don’t they?

Waiting…..

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About theenlightenedmale

Stephen Gosewich is an aspiring enlightened male. He spends his days during the week as a guy working in real estate. At all other times, he just enjoys hanging out with his wonder best friend and wife and their two very active and inspiring daughters. Steve has supplied blogs to The Good Men Project, Village Living Magazine (print/online) and has been the "Daddy Blogger" at pinkandbluebaby.com. He lives in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
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