The Outsider

In my house, I am the visible minority.
In my house, the odds are stacked against me.
In my house, I am the odd man out…literally.

I am a man living in a house inhabited by women.

I never planned it that way…it just kind of happened….starting with me falling in love with and marrying my wife almost 20 years ago.

My little hen party grew six years after we got married when our first daughter came into our lives, followed by another daughter about three years later.

I knew I was outnumbered when they were both completely “potty” trained and I was attacked whenever I forgot to put the toilet seat down after doing my business (lowering the seat is now etched into my brain and I find myself performing this task even when I am outside my own home..except I use my foot or 100 feet of toilet paper protecting my hand).

As our children matured and their interests went beyond strictly watching Barney or the Teletubbies, I found that my own TV viewing habits were compromised when shows like “What Not To Wear” and “Say Yes to the Dress” and “Party Mamas” showed up. This was not manly entertainment viewing! This was girly stuff. Since I have always wanted to spend as much time with my kids as possible and because we live in a democratic household (although all decisions are made by my wife and I…ok, I meant my wife!), I would sit with my kids and watch these shows. Oddly enough, I began enjoying them…learning the vernacular of fashion, hair and make up and often times providing my opinion on which wedding dress best suited the bride-to-be on “Say Yes to the Dress”. My girly viewing habits have since gone beyond television. I am now a frequent reader of Chatelaine, Canadian Living and a bunch of girly movies like The Devil Wears Prada (a classic) and 13 going on 30.

We are a family that hangs out together; alot. We do all kinds of stuff together…including shopping. Be it at home or while away on vacation in sunny Florida, not only do I act as chauffeur (just call me “Jeeves”), but I find myself interested in seeing my children develop their own sense of style and fashion. Often, my mother will take the girls shopping for clothes. I so look forward to them coming home because my wife and I encourage the girls to give us a fashion show, modeling their new purchases, courtesy of my generous mother and father.

Hair products, lotions and creams, make up…our house is filled with them (and none of them are mine!!). It amazes me how many beauty products my kids use or borrow from my wife…knowing that in my eyes, they are natural beauties who really don’t need any stuff to enhance their appearance. But, hey, I am biased. We frequent all of those kinds of stores together. I can honestly say that I am one of few men who knows his way around Sephora!

Because of my women, I have now come to appreciate and enjoy pedicures. Initially, I thought they were only for women and while I don’t get my toenails painted with pretty colors like my wife and daughters, I do enjoy a good pedicure and foot massage because it feels so damn good.

However, I still feel like a bit of an outsider, especially now that my older daughter is in high school and boys are becoming a bigger and more talked about issue…except, not with me in the room! When the subject of boys does come up, I only hear about it after the fact, through my wife, who always seems to handle that particular issue. Annie, my 10 year old, is very comfortable talking about boys in front of me…mostly because the boy that she has the greatest affection for is Justin Bieber which I find incredibly sweet and endearing. The way she talks about him and the way she identifies herself as Mrs. Bieber makes me smile every time his name comes up in conversation. Would it be so bad if she really did become Mrs. Bieber? Afterall, he is a nice Canadian boy from a small town who is grounded, considerate, good looking, talented and has a boat-load of money!

Yeah, you could say that I have become one of “them”.

My attitude is, if you can’t beat them, join them!


About I'm Just A Dad

Stephen Gosewich is just a Dad (he is a former Enlightened Male but decided to change the name because when you search Enlightened Male, "other...wink, wink" are displayed. He spends his days during the week as a working stiff. At all other times, he just enjoys hanging out with his best friend and wife and their two very active and inspiring daughters.
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2 Responses to The Outsider

  1. robin says:

    This is a good blog, you enlightened male, you. Now, I think you should write a P.S. about your fashion scarf!

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