That is a big number and it speaks volumes to the importance of the Internet in connecting mothers together. I have learned as a newbie blogger that blogging and the internet really do allow like-minded people to connect and share ideas.
But I wonder if the same kind of data is available for men and if so, what are the findings? While I am not a gambling man, I have a feeling that there aren’t as many dads out there blogging about being a dad or using social media sites as moms.
While I have come across a handful of Dads who write stuff via blogs and Twitter, clearly the percentages lean way more towards women.
Men, historically, have tended to internalize their feelings and frustrations and women tend to be more emotional and maybe use blogging and social media to share their thoughts and emotions with other women. Men would rather just talk business and sports and not discuss how they really feel.
How guys feel about being a father, spouse, son, uncle, friend or citizen of the world, is still very much a mystery to women and to other men because we simply just don’t talk about it. Of course, I am generalizing when I make this statement as I certainly have no problem articulating how I feel about many of the above. In fact, I am more comfortable talking about these kinds of real life issues than talking about sports or business, two things I really loathe talking about.
I sense though, from speaking with a few male acquaintances, that many men, instead of talking about their various roles (some of which they aren’t too fond of, like working at a job they hate, but having to do so because it provides income for their family), just accept their lot in life and keep quiet and go on with living day to day.
I bet if I took a survey of women who are married with children, I am certain the results would say that women wished that their spouse was not only around more to spend time with them and their children but would wish that their mates expressed and emoted more. That is where blogging comes in. What a neat, “hi-tech” way to express your feelings about a ton of different things…not just about whether the Yankees are goin’ all the way this year or if LeBron is playing at this best. Best part, you can do it on a hi-tech gadget..which you would think, would appeal to a man?
I am talking about sharing anecdotes about family life or candid conversation about real issues around marital relationships, social and economic pressures, deeper thoughts about life…the whole shootin’ match.
Women have no problem doing this..in fact, they could go on for hours about it. I am actually saying this in a nice way…not in any kind of critical way. Women are probably able to manage their stress levels better than men concerning issues of family and relationships because they are able to vent their feelings to other women who can relate.
I don’t see men doing that. Some men would argue that its an admission of weakness. I say, “what a load of crap!” How many times have I been into a Starbucks for my “tall bold” to see two or three women sitting at a table gabbing about this and that, sometimes with babes in arm…while if you see two men together…in all probability its a business meeting and they chose the Starbucks because they might have the free wi-fi.
Do you think that if men were able to express how they feel…to freely discuss what is churning in their gut that the quality of relationships they have with their spouses, children and close loved ones would improve?
So what can we do about it?
Firstly, though it might sound somewhat self-serving, to all the women readers of my blog…show your husband my stuff. I’m a guy…I get it…I understand the male mind and all the pressures that us guys face and feel we face…except I have no problem expressing them. If you can get your husbands/partners to take the time out to read stuff like what I write as well as other great blogs written by my fellow dad’s who have embraced blogging, they might begin to open up…to start sharing thoughts with you and even better…might begin to re-prioritize what is most important to them in life.
Two final pieces of advice…firstly, don’t show them this stuff when they are in the middle of watching a sporting event or on their way to Thursday night poker with the boys. Secondly, if you really want them to read it…and I won’t be offended, print it off and hand it to them on their way to the washroom. That’s where I do all my best reading.