The Snowball Effect

We are all born great. We all come into this world pure, untouched by outside influences, filled with possibility and promise…free and clear of layers of “crap” built up over years of life experiences.

But, many of us, myself included, have “stuff” to deal with – “emotional baggage”, that over time, has built up, in the same way a snowball starts off small making its way down a hill. It grows and grows in size…the snow becoming more compacted and heavy as it picks up more snow and debris along the way.

As a result, we shift away from the greatness we were all born with. Issues develop that range from self-esteem or lack of self-confidence, to anger, resentment and depression. To avoid dealing with the “how” and “why” this shift occurs, we ignore it and tuck it away in the hopes that if we don’t think about it, the problem won’t exist. We numb ourselves to it by turning to addictions: drinking, doing drugs, shopping excessively…even over-working, or surrounding ourselves with things that provide us with temporary pleasure, hoping that we will be able to simply forget about it for awhile.

Generally, we do a pretty good job of hiding it from the outside world. We pretend to be something we are not because we don’t want anyone to see, including ourselves, who we really are. However, more times than not, there are little cracks in our armor, allowing for the pain we feel inside to find its way out. This usually results in tensions in relationships, emotional outbursts, walls of silence with our partners, sometimes, even health-related issues.

What is so amazing about this baggage is that it stems from one or two events, more times than not, happening when we are quite young. Maybe its an incident in the playground, an altercation with a bully, a busy parent who unintentionally doesn’t have enough time for us. Sometimes the encounter is more severe; the loss of a loved one, an addicted parent or an abusive individual.

Whatever the circumstance, sequestering or stashing it away hoping that you will forget about it, is not the solution to the problem.

Breaking the massive snow ball, is a huge task that can seem daunting. My snow ball started rolling down the hill of life 45 years ago. I began work on destroying my snow ball about 4 years ago. I didn’t really know I had a problem snowball at the time. In actual fact, I sought out a therapist to assist me with weight loss. After identifying that I had some problems to work on and that my “great” self was still there…albeit hidden under many layers, I committed to myself that I was going to work on destroying the snowball one day allowing me to reconnect with my true, great self. The decision to move forward was based on the amount of upside I could bring to my life through my effort and that the life was I living to that point, was not the kind of life I wanted to live. My journey is a “work in progress”. Somedays are filled with break-throughs, other days turn up minor setbacks. But by becoming more self-aware, I know that the track I am on is the right one.

All of us have the potential to life authentically; to be true to ourselves, to be present, to live life from our hearts and to be truly great. It has nothing to do with how much abundance you have, how educated you are or where you live; these are just excuses.

Sometimes the very best way to start is to trust in the universe and to trust in others. A willingness to seek help is the very first step.

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About I'm Just A Dad

Stephen Gosewich is just a Dad (he is a former Enlightened Male but decided to change the name because when you search Enlightened Male, "other...wink, wink" are displayed. He spends his days during the week as a working stiff. At all other times, he just enjoys hanging out with his best friend and wife and their two very active and inspiring daughters.
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