Who likes a fight?

I am in a pissy mood as I write this blog. I am hoping by the time I complete it, I will be out of my funk and be back to my normal cheery self.

I had a mild “brouhaha” with my wife when we both came home from work today. I think it had been looming all day long because our work days were not particularly memorable and we left work in crappy moods….all that it needed was a little bit of fanning to ignite the fire!

It started for the silliest of reasons….I had left a dining room chair in a precarious position and as she sat down at it, she banged her knee into the leg of the table. It hurt like hell and the entire house knew it.

As is often the case, I received the brunt of the anger. It was my fault for leaving the chair in that position, even though I had just been sitting at the chair beside my daughter who was struggling with some homework, just moments earlier.

She was pissed at me because I defended myself. I had said that it wasn’t my fault because I was able to sit in the same chair at the same angle to the table without banging my leg.

As my wife was cursing up a storm (I don’t doubt for a second that it hurt like hell), my younger daughter ran to the freezer to get her an icepack to ease the pain.

As I sit writing this, my wife is in another room, still madder than hell and as a result, her fuse is short with the kids. I can hear her with them right now…her impatience very apparent.

The good news is, the moods will change as the night progresses. We will get comfortable and into our bathrobes and begin to actually relax a bit and hang with the kids.

All will be forgotten, except maybe for the bruise on my wife’s leg and by tomorrow, this blow up will be done.

Did our little flare-up need to happen? Could our pissy moods have been avoided? Did I not react in the right way to my wife’s sore leg? Should I have moved the dining room chair? Did my wife blow a gasket unnecessarily? These are all good questions whose answers mean nothing now because the moment has passed.

The advantage of being married for over 19 years is that our little battles that periodically erupt are often short-lived. When we were first married, they sometimes lasted longer…sometimes even a day or two.

Funnily enough, someone commented on this very point during a recent television news segment. They said that the first year of marriage is often the hardest because the bloom begins to fall off the rose….the perfect person that you fell in love with, you are now living your life with and you begin to realize that they are not perfect and there are little things about them that begin to piss you off.

For me, it was little habits such as never closing cupboard doors, leaving shelves open, never drying and putting away pots and pans…instead leaving them to “air dry”…small stuff like that. Do I have little habits that annoy her…ABSOLUTELY…I know I do.

But I think, over time, you begin to realize that these little things are – little and the old adage, “don’t sweat the small stuff” really does make a lot of sense.

Right now, I am finishing this blog and its the morning after. Other than a very sore leg, my wife is alright…and we are alright.

Life has its challenges…mine is filled with them….but the love that is found in a good relationship (marriage) can make all those challenges feel tolerable.

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About theenlightenedmale

Stephen Gosewich is an aspiring enlightened male. He spends his days during the week as a guy working in real estate. At all other times, he just enjoys hanging out with his wonder best friend and wife and their two very active and inspiring daughters. Steve has supplied blogs to The Good Men Project, Village Living Magazine (print/online) and has been the "Daddy Blogger" at pinkandbluebaby.com. He lives in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
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